The Thrill of Hope

Confession alert! I'm totally in "like" right now.

I know. It's a horrible idea. Every single solitary time I give my heart to someone else, it gets crushed. But this time it's different.

I know what you're thinking. It's ALWAYS different this time.

But I can see the signs. I know my heart is about to leave my body and belong to someone else. If even for a short while, I'm hopeful I will take that last, confident step off the cliff called love and begin the free fall.

I'm giddy. Every time my phone lights up - if it's a text or call from him my face lights up as well. Our conversations are easy and interesting. I find myself immensely attracted to him.

And we haven't even met yet.

Here comes the catch.

I must have done something awful in a past life. I probably kicked puppies for fun. I'm not sure what it was - but I'm sure the Universe is conspiring against my true and complete happiness. The little glimmer of hope who is single and single-handedly restoring my faith in men? He lives 5 hours away.

A five hour drive isn't insurmountable. Not even with gas prices at more than $3 per gallon.

I've always been a believer! Love can move mountains! All you need is love! Love is a many splendored thing!

And then, somewhere along the way, my heart gets shattered.

Make no mistake - he's treated me with the utmost care and respect. We BOTH agree the astounding list of commonalities we share is crazy. We can go from having an honest, profound conversation to flirting our asses off in three seconds flat. We laugh with each other. Besides being with my daughter, talking to him is the highlight of my day. Since he works third shift he's been a life-saver - texting with me during middle of the night feedings just to keep Zoey and I company. There's also no doubt in my mind that if we were to begin a relationship, he would love my baby girl like his very own.

Then I stop. I ask myself. Could he be the one? Could he be one of the ones?

My answer? Maybe. Probably. Gosh I hope so.

We've made a plan to meet up. He's coming to me - which is something Shreveport men won't do - and that drive is only about 45 minutes. The fact that he's willing to drive to meet me is a major plus...and a bit of a turn-on. Sometimes I feel like I've known him forever. I find myself counting down the days until I actually get to see him face-to-face.

The way I see it? There are exactly two ways our meeting can end. It can end as quickly as our whirlwind romance began. I would be shattered again.

Or, our meeting can end as a beginning. Of course, friends, I'd be lying if I told you I was pessimisstic about this initial encounter. This is me, the hopeless and somewhat hapless romantic talking!

Sure, all this build-up could make for a huge let-down.

But my money's on it's the start of something big.

And in my eternal optimism, I have to say - win or lose - the thrill of hope I get from talking to him is totally worth any pain I might have to endure down the line.