Ok baby brush it off. Time to get back up and keep going. Time to stop feeling sorry for yourself. Time to get back to Baily.
Somewhere along the way, I lost myself. I like to work out - so I'm going again 5 days a week. I like church - so I'm actively seeking a church home. I live to make films - so I'm grabbing every opportunity that comes my way. I love being a mom - so I'm going to hold my baby a little bit closer every night.
I'm going to listen to Hendrix, the Kinks and ZZ Top. Loudly. I'm going to quote Star Wars, and be the smartest person most people know. I'm going to count my blessings. I'm tired of fucking hiding. So I'm going to stop that shit right now.
See, I went into hiding because I got caught with my pants down. Being a single mom ain't easy. And I'm not looking for a baby daddy. Fuck that. I'm looking for a partner. Whoever is standing at the finish line when my journey ends had better love me. Don't get me wrong, my daughter and I are a package deal. But he'd better love both of us unconditionally.
He'd better love that I snort when I really laugh. Going to see live bands is in my very DNA. He'd better be able to go and enjoy himself. I yell at the TV...during football games and Jeopardy. I read for fun. I don't stop myself if I'm moved to tears by art. I have been known to completely geek out about movies. I have kept a journal every day of my life since my seventh birthday. Those are private. I dance when I clean house - usually to Jimmy Buffett. I'm a true and loyal friend. I mess with my hair - a lot. I am a good cook - but I'm even better at making a mess in the kitchen. I love funk music and seeing plays in the park. I need to create, write, edit, make movies like people need to breathe. I have a dark sense of humor and love a good slasher film.
I need to be me again. Unapologetically me. I need to be the person my friends know and love. Not some fake representation of myself.
I lost my joy somewhere - but I'm slowly getting it back.
And from this moment forward - I'm never going to lose Baily again.
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