The Rotation

Fellas, I'm going to let you in on a secret. Most single ladies have a rotation. Meaning, we have different gentlemen we call on from time to time for different things. There are plenty of times when a lady needs an escort. And sometimes, we just want sex. Now this doesn't mean all the men in the rotation have seen us naked- just means you might not be the only man in our life.

There's nothing wrong with keeping options open. It's a defense mechanism really. Some animals play dead, some fight back, and some smart creatures make sure they have a plan B (or C or D or E - All of the above). Having your heart ripped out is no fun. It's a hell of a lot easier when you have someone else to fall back on.

For me, the rotation ends when a committment is made. When a guy decides he actually wants me to be his girlfriend, I will invest all of my time into that relationship. I expect him to do the same. There's nothing wrong with keeping options open while you're single. When you've made a choice - either stick with it or break things off.

Believe it or not, my "type" isn't "has a penis". Although that has been suggested from time to time as being the truth. My type is "shows an interest".

My last serious boyfriend, SB won simply because he made the first move. We dated for 3 years and were wrong for each other in so many ways. At the time, I had two other perfectly nice guys in the rotation. But SB decided he wanted to be exclusive and I gave him 3 years of my life - only to wind up heartbroken.

That makes me seriously reconsider letting the guy make the first move. It's 20-fucking-11 after all. I'm a strong woman. And still, I'm scared shitless. I hate being rejected. But no guts no glory right?

I classify myself as clumsy. A good friend pointed out recently that I'm messy. And he's not wrong. Actually, he's right and it kills me to admit it. So, I'll continue to say he's not wrong. I'm much more likely to drop food on my shirt rather than walk into a glass door. I've done both. Today. But who's counting?

I hope I'm not making a big mess. But here I am...


I'm just not sure if he loves me back. So I'm going to have to take a risk. Fuck the rotation, I'm ready for something real.

And if it doesn't work out - life is just a series of circles anyway. There will be a new rotation. People enter and exit your life for a reason. I'm hope I'm learning my lessons well. I'm tired of heart break and all outta duct tape.